Last week I wrote a review of the show Thirteen Reasons Why, which you can read here. After sitting on it a week, I sadly have to retract my initial review. Not because of the views of the mental health world, not because of what my peers have said (most of my friends actually loved the show). But because of how it made me feel.

I related often to the main character, Hannah, having experienced similar traumas. The last episode didn’t sit well with me, and that was the point. You were supposed to be uncomfortable watching a suicide happen on television. It’s supposed to be mind blowing, and thought provoking. However, after I finished the series, as someone who recently left the hospital for being treated with a mental crisis, I couldn’t shake the images, and the story I just watched. I had strong urges to cut, just to slice my wrists and bleed. I became suicidal this week. I regressed in my progress.

I recognized this quickly thanks to DBT skills, and have realized this show is too much for someone who is suicidal. Trigger warnings are not enough for us. We need prevention planning, we need to hear why we need to stay on this earth. This show didn’t provide that. I don’t think it necessarily glorified suicide by any means, but there was no talk of prevention, what we could do, and what to do if someone is suicidal. It was just a glimpse into the minds of those hurt by a suicide, and even then not all of their thoughts were wishing someone hadn’t died.

I get it; it’s not a show that’s cheery. It’s sad content. However, it’s depressing content is not done in a manor that helps curb suicidal thoughts, and I doubt it will help anyone, really. Thus, this official statement. I cannot stand by this show. I cannot tell you, my readers, to watch it IF you are experiencing suicidal ideation, thoughts, or hurting yourself. This show is not made for Mental Warriors. This show was not made for me. And that makes me sad, because for a change, I thought we’d have a platform.